Today I just had to write about this. Something came up in my coaching group and I thought I wrote a very eloquent response. This is part of it.
“the only habit that seems a little broken at the moment is the habit of self love, because you are a little busy right now…”
Let me tell you how it started.
Are you on Facebook?
Of course you are, otherwise you would not have found my blog.
Have you noticed on Facebook that if you follow people in the health and fitness industry that they are always post pictures of their clients scantily clad. In one picture they are in better shape than they were in the previous picture?
[If you haven’t seen this then come out from under your rock and pay attention!]
The sad thing is, I post pictures like this too.
Because it gets your attention and it is what people think they want.
Everybody is selling you body transformations with the promise of getting you beach body ready within 12 weeks.
You know what, if that IS what you want, it is really easy do to. Go hungry for the next 12 weeks. Take your 1200 calorie low carb diet, your fasted cardio and resistance training and go and be hungry and miserable! I can’t promise it will definitely work because you will probably end up binge eating on something sugary when you get too hungry or when that time of the month comes, which will start a negative downward spiral of carb induced self hate.
But if you are one of the “good” ones. The self disciplined ones. The one’s who can stick it out. You will have your beach body in 12 weeks.
Would you have had fun? Will you be able to sustain your habits? Will you have embraced your self worth for how amazing you are beach body or not?
I’d probably like to say no.
You see, when someone hands me their money and I choose to work with them and them with me. I feel an immense sense of responsibility. This person wants results, I need to make sure that I give them results! Its a lot of pressure.
But there also comes a point when I realise; Gosh, for me to really help this person, I have to help them understand that there is a lot more work to be done than what the right macro split is. In order to do this, I can’t always deliver on the body composition results super quick, although I do my best.
You see, the reason why many people are ultimately over weight and unhappy with their body is because there is something else going on.
And this by no means makes them a bad person. Often it makes them a very good person. They are so busy giving to their job, their children, their family, their friends, strangers, charity that life has spun a little bit out of control.
But sometimes we need to decide that if we really want to change. We need to come first for a little while, maybe even a long while.
There can be some deep routed emotional stuff, negative beliefs about ourselves, beliefs about what other people think about us, fear of failure, fear of being judged, lack of support, negative relationships, self sabotage…the list goes on and on.
These are the real reason why people do not see results.
But you can’t fix that with 1200 calories, some fasted cardio and resistance training.
It’s a start, because inevitably if someone is doing those things they are starting to make some decisions for themselves and take responsibility. But the other stuff needs to be dealt with too, and probably, we need to give you a better strategy than the one I just mentioned.
Its funny, because when I first started ladies that lift we would have one of our weekly calls and everyone would be asking me about their macro’s and what to eat post workout and is it bad to eat after 6pm. You know, the usual questions. Now our calls are very different. These ladies are really opening up and we are getting to the deeper issues.
It’s pretty common now for someone to cry on a coaching call. I joked last week that if no one cries next week I will be disappointed. Not because I want to see my clients upset, but because the display of emotion means that we are hitting on the real issues which are road blocking the diet and training stuff.
So yes, back to what I was saying about habits.
Changing your body, your fitness, you happiness is all about changing habits. The most effective tools for success are those which we actually use and do so consistently.
So today my client posted to the coaching group that she was disappointed she hadn’t lost weight that week because she had been working 12 hour days and had only got to the gym once that week and just felt too exhausted to go. Do you think I told her she needed to diet harder or go do some fasted cardio. Did I change her macro’s or tell her she had a food sensitivity causing her to hold onto water weight (all of this advice is real advice that real people dish out), no.
You are in the habit of eating well
You are in the habit of exercising
The only habit that is broken right now is your habit of self love because you are placing your value on the fact that the scale didn’t budge this week.
Make some time for yourself this weekend and keep doing what you are doing because you are doing great!
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