I’ve just come back from two weeks in South Africa. We were invited to a wedding and I decided to tag on an extra 10 days so that I could spend my birthday with my family – for the first time in 10 years.
It was lovely seeing my family but also exhausting. I love them to bits and I miss them greatly, but also, when you are in such close proximity, it’s easy to get caught up in the family drama and it can be quite tiring not being in your own space.
Since I’ve been back I’ve been catching up with my clients. I’m sure you can imagine, that the conversation quickly turns towards managing the festive season.
How can I not go backwards and sabotage all my hard work?
How do I “do” Christmas without putting on weight?
I was having a conversation with a client today and ultimately her goal was to drop the final kilogram she hadn’t been able to budge, and keep it off over Christmas.
A very modest goal you would agree.
We had a long conversation and most of the conversation said client was holding back tears (this happens quite a lot with my clients – bless them – I am used to it now).
It became clear from this emotional reaction that where the conversation needed to go had nothing to do with one kilogram.
Even if my client did lose her one kilogram and keep it off, I don’t think it was really going to be the deal breaker to fix this emotional state.
So we talked some more and I asked her about her routine.
She started telling me about how many workouts she would fit in and when.
No, tell me about what happens when you wake up in the morning, when do you have your breakfast.
We went through her morning routine, early gym, shower, breakfast, at work by 9pm… then at 5pm…
Hang on, we just lost 8 hours of your life! What happens between 9pm and 5pm? Do you have a lunch break? do you take a break? Do go for a walk?
The answer was, yes I eat lunch, but no, I don’t take a break.
And what happens on the mornings you don’t go to the gym?
“I just go to work earlier”
Can you see the problem here?
This lovely woman, who has done so well so far working with me, was worrying about Christmas… When actually, it is every day of her life which to me seemed like a bigger concern.
She had fallen into a trap that so many women fall in to, which is pinning success, self worth or some sense of achievement on a number on a scale and their ability to maintain said number. It’s so easy to fall into this trap, thinking, when I do “x” then I will feel fulfilled and happy.
Everything we do is for a feeling.
For most of the women I work with, myself included, it is to feel happy, at ease, confident, worthy and loved (and I am sure many other things to0).
How can we feel or experience any of this when we are on the hamster wheel too busy being busy?
Most of your social media this time of year may be filled with advice around what to eat and drink and how to exercise around the festive season. I can give you that advice too if you’d like it.
But here is what I would much rather you focus on.
How and what do you want to feel? (aka question 1)
When I’ve been asking my clients this question in our conversations this week, they’ve said to me things like:
You can add your own words to this list too.
And just take a moment to read these words and feeling these feelings.
What does it feel like in your body to feel calm? To feel happy? To Feel Loved? – I know it is so tempting right now to skip over this bit and read on but really just take a moment to experience these feelings – you may be a little rusty if you haven’t felt them in a while.
Then ask yourself:
What really needs to happen so that you can create a festive season experience where you get to feel these things? (question 2)
Again, talking to my clients this week, it seems like three really important things came up:
1. Saying No.
I posted a graphic on Instagram last week which said “Focus is about staying no”.
So if you want to feel these feelings, you have to focus in on them and say no to the things that won’t support them.
You do not have to accept every party invitation, every drink that is placed in your hand or every canape that is offered to you. Practise saying, No thank you, I already have plans (even if those plans involved you lying in a bubble bath with a good book looking after yourself!)
2. Making Plans
So I know I told you to say no but I also understand that you cannot say no to everything. So plan ahead.
What is important? What will you say yes to? And how can you nourish and love your body to prepare and recover from a late night, a few glasses of wine and some indulgent food?
3. Self Love All The Way!
I would be willing to put a large sum of money on the fact that self love is going to be the health care trend of 2018. We’ve already seen it creeping in across the months of 2017, but I reckon next year, it’s going BOOM (You heard it here first!).
I am sure people will be throwing phrases like self love and self care around left right and centre in the weeks and months to come. But you know what, this sh*t is real!
I find more and more often the advice I have to give me clients has nothing to do with what they are eating, but more along the lines of:
- Get more sleep
- Take a bath
- Read a book
- Book a massage
- Take a week off the gym
- Eat some chocolate
- Do some yoga
- Slow down
- Watch some junk TV
- Go for a walk, be outside
- Have some fun!
And I can tell you from the first hand experience of a work-aholic over achiever. It is fricken difficult to actually do! But…
If you can weave a little of this stuff into your Christmas madness, how much more present and connected and less stressed do you think you will be?
I will finish on a food and exercise note and say that self love also comes in this form. Move your body in a way that feels good. Eat delicious food but don’t stuff yourself until you feel uncomfortable and in pain. Give your body good nutrients and enjoy some treats too!
And on that note! Be present, breathe, laugh, make memories, have fun!
I run a small Online Women’s Weight Loss Program that offer a personalised nutrition and exercise support to produce life changing and life-lasting results.
If you want to give up the guessing game and have someone just tell you what to do and hold you accountable to actually doing it then this is probably exactly what you have been waiting for.
Life doesn’t get better by chance, it gets better by choice. Now you have a moment where you can choose to take a step towards a very different future and join the community of like minded women who are not just losing weight, but transforming their lives, filling them with happiness and health.
To find out more about how my coaching program can help you, please fill out the application below to book a complimentary breakthrough call and find out out about working with me in more detail.